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Sisyphus (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Borderline Personality Disorder)

from Human Initiation by Strange Chan

/

lyrics

There’s an itch

I can’t scratch

A taste in my mouth

I just can’t seem to get out
So I claw at my face

And scratch at my skin

When it all heals up I began again
I get nowhere
Fast

Been doing it since I was a teen
Putting out fires with gasoline
A fool no one could keep

I felt like such a freak I lost control
Now I fixate on the flaws
When the anxiety calls

I’ll obsess all I like
Does that strike you as odd at all?

What would Sigmund think of the condition my condition has been in?

Would Nietzsche say, “Embrace Dionysus and you’ll feel like a God”?
What didn’t kill me made me stronger but it also made me a little stranger
And feeling just like Sisyphus 


There’s a girl

Makes me sweat

So sensational

I pined for her the moment we met
But I made a mistake

I broke protocol

Overwhelmed her with advances
‘Til I watched the sky begin to fall

I’d been building her up in my head
Lip synching all the words that I probably should not have said
The scene plays in repeat I always play the creep
I never skip a beat
The last thing I saw

An image etched in my brain
Her eyes looking into to mine While the rival dragged her away 


Did I reek of desperation?
Did the scent cut through your Nat Sherman cigarettes?

Did your friend think I was sorry
When I apologized profusely like a dog?

And when your date gave me daggers
Did he know I never heard a word about him?

I guess I should have asked you first 


I’m in love

With myself

My suspicions abound

I share nothing with anyone else
‘Cause we live for ourselves

In these obsessive times

You can see it in the eyes
Of all the poor souls caged in their cars

I’ve been dying just to feel alive
Been doing it now since 1995
When I was just nineteen
I watched my best friend die
Now I feel the neglect

Still coming on strong

Still starving for affection

Still life goes on and on and on and on and on and on

Did I squander my relations

With self gratification as alternative?

Did rejection take it’s toll?
Should I sell my soul back to the Devil?
If I could do it all again would I dare do anything differently?
Or will my scars just scare you off again?
‘Cause you could be the nail in my coffin

credits

from Human Initiation, track released January 9, 2016
James Chan - Vocals, Guitars, Sequncer
Riley Geare - Producer, Engineer, Drums, Bass Guitar, Synth Bass, Synths

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Strange Chan Portland, Oregon

Strange Chan is the aesthetic extension of flesh and blood avatar, James Chan.

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